TikToker Sofia Li On What It Really Means To Be Elegant
Sofia Li has spent much of her life learning (and teaching!) about etiquette and protocol, so it's understandable that throughout the years, she's heard just about every objection to the subject in the book.
However, she's of the mind that many of those objections stem from a total misunderstanding.
In an exclusive interview with TheThings, the TikToker gave her take on where so many have gone so wrong in their perception of etiquette, and mused on what elegance really means in a modern world.
Way Way Back(Ground)
Sofia is the first to acknowledge that many of the etiquette guidelines she shares stem from a bygone era.
As such, she acknowledges that some of the direct translations to the world we live in today can be a little tricky.
"Etiquette is very complicated because some of the things we do today cannot compare with the realities of the Victorian era - or even 50 years ago!" she laughs.
"However," she goes on, "that doesn't mean we need to erase the protocols entirely. We just need to adapt."
We've Got New Rules
Sofia continues to say that, just as some protocols have existed for centuries, others need to be established today, based on new developments.
"Once upon a time, it was physically impossible to take a telephone to a social engagement," she explains. "Now, our phones go everywhere with us."
Because of that, she concludes, "we just need to find the boundaries and limits to when we should use them," - and based on many of Sofia's TikToks and Reels, it's safe to say that the table is not included in that list!
Sofia Responds To The Backlash She's Received
Sofia boasts over 2 million followers on TikTok and 600k on Instagram, so it's fair to say she has a massive fanbase!
However, not even Sofia is immune to the haters, and many a detractor can be found in the comments sections of her posts.
Interestingly enough, though, the model doesn't take the criticism personally. Rather, she believes that much of the backlash her videos receive come from a place of misunderstanding.
Sofia Schools Social Media On What Etiquette Really Is
Sofia breaks her definition of etiquette down into two parts.
First, she explains, many of her critics have negated to see that etiquette is integrally linked to manners. "Etiquette is how you behave in a certain situation and manners is the behavior you exhibit towards others," she says, noting, "at the end of the day, one depends on the other."
To illustrate the second part of her description, Sofia draws on her experience as an actress, pointing out that the way the word 'etiquette' is typically said has influenced how many people perceive it.
"Etiquette is not valued as a word, and that is why people do not value it in practice."
So, Just How Is The Word Being Used?
"So often, people link etiquette and elegance with rich or snobbish people who believe they are somehow above everyone else," she says.
Common consensus or not, that perception couldn't be further from the truth - and Sofia is determined to help people realize that.
"Etiquette and elegance are something you can teach. It's not necessary to be born rich or have the best clothes - everyone can act elegantly, no matter what background they have."
Sofia drives home her point by sharing her favorite quote, by fashion designer Elie Saab: "elegance is a statement and an attitude."
A Mission And A Vision For A More Elegant Future
Regardless of her disparagers, Sofia is on a mission to make the world a more elegant place.
"It's a pity that young generations don't learn etiquette at home or in social environments," she muses, adding that she wishes more people were taught the basics from a young age.
However, using her new platform to do it, Sofia's goal is to encourage young people to find the value in etiquette.
"I'm going to fight to keep as motivate as many human beings as possible to follow good manners," she asserts.
After all, she concludes, "at the end of the day, etiquette is all about how you respect yourself and the person in front of you."
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